My husband and I are undergoing fertility treatments in hopes of conceiving our second child. I’ve noticed a few differences between going through treatments from our first vs. now trying for our second. There are still a lot of emotions and it’s not easy, but I don’t think anything can top how difficult it was the first time. Whether you’re trying for your first child or your fifth, you’re fighting for a vision of what you want your family to look like.
Going through fertility treatments when you already have a child or children adds a layer of logistics to the mix as most clinics do not allow children in the office. This leaves you rearranging schedules or finding childcare. I’ve been lucky that my husband can exercise some flexibility in his hours and to have supportive family members step in to help…which means we had to tell them that we are trying. In the beginning, I did not want to ask our family members for childcare help simply because I didn’t want them to know what we were doing. But it became impossible to do it without their help.
Being a parent is a 24-hour job, a job I pride myself in doing to the best of my ability. I don’t get days off and I don’t get mental health days so even when we have had a failed cycle, I still have to be present in my job as a mother. It’s not like before when I could lay on the couch and binge watch a show all day if that’s what I needed to do to cope. I have to cope with the downs of infertility while being present of mind enough to give my all to my child. This can have an upside too. My job as a mom takes up a lot of my time and headspace which can serve as a healthy distraction. I’m involved in a few mom groups, and I try to take my daughter out for fun experiences so, through her, I am getting social time with other women and getting outside for some fresh air.
Going through fertility treatments this time around has also really made me appreciate just how lucky we were our first time. Every day I am reminded of the miracle that comes from the medications, injections, and doctor’s appointments. It keeps my spirits high and out of the feelings of hopelessness that I experienced my first time around.